The whole time I've been pregnant I've had a feeling that I was having a boy. Tomorrow is the "big ultrasound" where they make sure Niblet is actually a human being and we'll hopefully find out if Niblet is, in fact, a boy or a girl. Assuming he or she's not being modest. Which doesn't run in either side of the family.

So that's tomorrow. And last night I wondered, "What if I'm wrong and we are having a girl? Then what do I do?" I've spent all this time being confident and cocky that we were having a boy. Mother's intuition or whatnot. You see, I'm a tomboy. I've gotten more... feminine... as I've gotten older, but I was a tomboy growing up. I worry that if I have a girl, she'll be the girliest girl, and I'll just spend all my time staring at her like a foreign alien wondering what on Earth to do with her.

All these ideas struck me about the time Magic Man and I went to bed. His tired self was not nearly as interested in my gender fearing meltdown as I was.

On the bright side of all this, at least I live in an age where I do get to find out one way or the other. And I will be happy no matter what gender the Niblet is. I just had a plan that it was a boy and the good Lord likes to mess with my plans so I worry less and rely on Him more. He's tricky like that. So now I don't know what to do. But think and over analyze and get stressed out over something that... is really silly to get all worked up about.

So I shall be calm tomorrow and excited to find out if Nibs is a boy or a girl.
And instead focus my worrying energy today on something else that is silly to worry about... like the fact I can't find my iTunes gift card. (Hey, I never said I'd stop worrying.)

1 comment:

  1. Toni you are so cute. I felt Lisa was going to be a boy to the point that everything bought for her was boy colors. Back then we did'nt get sonigrams to find out what we were having, so I relied on (mothers tuition) Once you see your little Niblet, your heart will melt and you realize it is part of you. I am just so excited for you. Have you heard of the reveal parties, where only the dr. knows the sex and he seals it in an envalope and then you take it to a baker and they back either a pink cake or a blue one under frosting. You get all your friends together and you find out with them as you cut the cake.